I have six beautiful daughters. They are growing up so fast! I’m a little intimidated about raising them in a world where the likes of Britney Spears, J-Lo, and Madonna are flashed across magazine covers wearing clothing that degrades. THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANT FOR MY DAUGHTERS! Does modesty need to be a thing of the past? I answer an emphatic NO!
Being modest in dress is important to me. I’m trying to teach my daughters that you “choose your clothing the way you would choose your friends—in both cases choose that which improves you and would give you confidence standing in the presence of God. Good friends would never embarrass you, demean you, or exploit you. Neither should your clothing.” (To Young Women by Jefferey R. Holland)
The word modesty means “measured”. It also means:
| 1. | the quality of being modest; freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc. |
| 2. | regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc. |
| 3. | simplicity; moderation. |
Modesty does not just apply to clothing. It also applies to thought, language, and behavior. In Corinthians we learn “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are” (1 Corinthians 3:16-17) What would happen if we all treated our bodies as temples?
“The result would be a dramatic increase in chastity, modesty, observance of the Word of Wisdom, and a similar decrease in the problems of pornography and abuse, for we would regard the body, like the temple, as a sacred sanctuary of the Spirit. Just as no unclean thing may enter the temple, we would be vigilant to keep impurity of any sort from entering the temple of our bodies.
Likewise, we would keep the outside of our bodily temples looking clean and beautiful to reflect the sacred and holy nature of what is inside, just as the Church does with its temples. We should dress and act in ways that reflect the sacred spirit inside us.” I love that quote from Susan W. Tanner’s talk Sanctity of the Body.
The way we dress is a reflection of what we are on the inside. As a mother I’m trying hard to set a good example for my daughters to follow. I want them to feel good about who they are, to be accepting of themselves, including their body shape. Beyond just the way they dress, I want my daughters to be modest inside, to develop an inner beauty of spirit that glows in their outward appearance. I want them to feel confident as daughters of God.
Our beloved prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley expressed how I feel perfectly. He said, “Woman is God’s supreme creation. Only after the earth had been formed, after the day had been separated from the night, after the waters had been divided from the land, after vegetation and animal life had been created, and after man had been placed on the earth, was woman created; and only then was the work pronounced complete and good.
Of all the creations of the Almighty, there is none more beautiful, none more inspiring than a lovely daughter of God who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so, who honors and respects her body as a thing sacred and divine, who cultivates her mind and constantly enlarges the horizon of her understanding, who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth.” (“Our Responsibility to Our Young Women”)
Oh, how I wish that all women of the world could come to know that for themselves! Can you imagine what a difference it would make in our homes, communities, nations, the world?
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I just found out that Homeschool eStore is offering a Modesty Lapbook for free! Wouldn’t this be a great project to do with your daughters and sons?
the title of your post reminded me of the title “the importance of being earnest”. i just can’t get the title out of my mind when i think of modesty even if it has nothing to do with the play itself. 🙂
Very good idea. I don’t have any kids, but I see young girls that are wearing make-up, high heels, short skirts, etc. I’m thinking, “okay, you’re 10, be a kid.”
I’ve noticed that McDonalds has been giving up happy meal toys that are toy dolls with short skirts- they aren’t sending a healthy message either.
I think oftentimes it’s pressure from other girls, not from other boys that influences girls to dress (or act) immodestly. Boys think girls are attractive either way, but girls are the ones pressuring each other to be stylish. It’s a good reminder to be sure our girls are surrounded with friends who have similar values.
i enjoyed reading your thoughts. I think the best speech I’ve read on modesty is this one: http://www.hillsdale.edu/news/imprimis/archive/issue.asp?year=2001&month=03
I remember hearing someone say that women who dress immodestly ought to feel responsible for the immoral thoughts they may bring about in others.
I notice it is a struggle to appropriate clothing for my 4 year old. I, too, am working to instill the value of modesty in my daughter.
This is a wonderful post!
I got the email with the link to the modesty lapbook as well and plan to download it.
I have found it a struggle to find cute, girly, modest clothing for my 6 year old daughter. The other day we were shopping hoping to find some simple corduroy skirts that she could wear with tights and boots and had no luck, so we stopped in at Joann’s and I’m going to make her some.
I have 3 daughters and they are getting to the age that it’s getting really difficult to find modest clothing. I love that they choose on their own to not wear anything shorter than capris for summer wear and not to wear sleeveless things. I agree on modesty being more than just clothing and thanks for the download info for the modesty lapbook. I found some things there that look fun and helpful.
I will be bookmarking this post to show to my daughter when she gets older … although we have been talking about modesty since before she could talk.
I have to admit I could be doing better with this. I need to stop buying my girls tank tops and shorts. I have never really thought about it but Kassie had a good idea about wearing nothing shorter than capris in the summer. But then what do they do when capris go out of style again!
My seven year old has a pretty good sense of modesty however. I had what I thought was a cute picture of a cow girl in her room and she made me take it out because her skirt was too short. She was right!!!
Oh, one thing we have done though is get rid of all the barbies that the in-laws have given her. I have never liked barbie but I let her play with them since they were gifts. No more! My son is old enough now that they are embarrassing to him and I can’t stand looking at them either.
My biggest struggle right now is how to approach the in-laws, who have a whole different idea about modesty than I do, to let them know that I don’t approve of some of the clothes they send. Don’t get me wrong, I totally appreciate the gesture, and 90% of what they send is ok, but it’s the occasional short skirt or sleeveless top that really bugs me. We have convinced my daughter to wear another shirt or sweater over or under anything that is sleeveless, but that will only last so long.
just another thought. i’m not worried about my children imitating britney spears, maddonna, etc. they’re extreme and they’re trashy. i’m more inclined to think of classy ladies like lady diana, princess grace, nicole kidman who wear beautiful clothing but are clothes still, that are inappropritate for a member to wear. for me it’s the subtle examples rather than the extreme ones that i worry about when it comes to modesty in dress.
I appreiciated your thoughts on this so much! I have three girls and modesty is on my mind too…