Just jotting down my thoughts today. This post might not make any sense and certainly won’t be arranged in any organized manner.

One BYU speech I always seem to go back to whenever I’m in a reflective mood about organizing my home, creating a refuge from the world, and teaching my children is the one entitled “Your Refined Heavenly Home” by Elder Douglas L. Callister. The idea of developing refinement in my own life as well as that of my family seems an elusive goal sometimes. Reading his talk gives me hope and ideas. Elder Callister speaks mostly of refinement in the following areas: language, literature, music and art, and physical appearance.

“The nearer we get to God, the more easily our spirits are touched by refined and beautiful things.” I know this is true. The beautiful things in nature as well as the art, music, and language of the masters can develop a nearness with God that touches us deeply.

Language

“God speaks all languages, and He speaks them properly. He is restrained and modest of speech. When God described the grand creational process of this earth, He said in measured tones that “it was good.” We would be disappointed if God had to use “awesome” or other exaggerated phrases in every paragraph. ” Last stake conference a young lady was giving a talk and I was embarrassed for her. She used “awesome” and “cool” so often. When sharing her experiences it would have had more of an impact had she simply stated what occurred and the good that came of it.

“Refinement in speech is more than polished elocution. It results from purity of thought and sincerity of expression. A child’s prayer on occasion may reflect the language of heaven more nearly than a Shakespearean soliloquy.”

“Refinement in speech is reflected not only in our choice of words but also in the things we talk about.” Why talk of vulgar or crude things when there is something better to talk about?

Literature

“Is there a generation today that needs to be superficially entertained? What is the prospect of a young man sitting in a dorm on Friday evening to read a great book and be thrilled by the music of the masters? Is Friday evening a frenetic flight to see where the entertainment and action will be? Could our society produce a Newton or a Mozart? Can 85 channels and uncountable DVDs ever fill our insatiable appetite to be entertained? Do any unwisely become addicted to computer games or Internet surfing, thereby missing the richer experiences of great reading, conversations, and music enjoyment?” My parents, thankfully, made sure we were exposed to great books and wonderful music of all types. If you were to ask any of my siblings what books they are reading you’d find they have several books they are reading from at any given time – some gospel oriented, some “fun,” some classics.

“President David O. McKay was inclined to awaken at 4:00 a.m., skim read up to two books each day, and then commence his labors at 6:00 a.m. He could quote 1,000 poems from memory. We knew that whenever he stood at the pulpit. He referred to the grand masters of literature as the “minor prophets.” He was a living embodiment of the scriptural admonition to “seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom.”” I need to work on memorizing more. I’d love to be able to quote passages of books, poems, and scriptures. I want to try this system of scripture memorization with my children.

“As with companions so with books. We may choose those which will make us better, more intelligent, more appreciative of the good and the beautiful in the world, or we may choose the trashy, the vulgar, the obscene, which will make us feel as though we’ve been “wallowing in the mire.” {David O. McKay} I don’t want to feel as if I’ve wasted my time when I’m done reading a book! Give me a book that will make me think and want to go back for more.

Music

“When some music has passed the tests of time and been cherished by the noble and refined, our failure to appreciate it is not an indictment of grand music. The omission is within. If a young person grows up on a steady diet of hamburgers and french fries, he is not likely to become a gourmet. But the fault is not with fine food. He just grew up on something less. Some have grown up on a steady diet of musical french fries.” Thank goodness for parents, again, who raised us to play the piano! And guitar for my brothers. It opened up a world to not only classical music but jazz, ragtime, new age, and even opera. I so enjoy hearing my own daughters sit down to play the piano. In so doing they are exposing their younger siblings to the musical masters, even if they aren’t quite masterfully played. 😀

I love the examples Elder Callister gives here, “Recognizing the penetrating influence of great music, Oscar Wilde had one of his characters say: “After playing Chopin, I feel as if I had been weeping over sins that I had never committed, and mourning over tragedies that were not my own.”21 After the first performance of Messiah, Handel said: “My lord, I should be sorry if I only entertained them; I wish to make them better.”22 Haydn “dressed in his best clothes to compose because he said he was going before his maker.””

Physical Appearance

“That which has been said about bringing great language, music, and literature into the home may be said with equal truth of great art—perhaps tastefully displayed in our heavenly home. It may also be said of our physical appearance and manners, as well as the order of the place in which we live, the way we offer our prayers, and the way we read God’s word.”

“We must not “let ourselves go” and become so casual—even sloppy—in our appearance that we distance ourselves from the beauty heaven has given us. Every man has the right to be married to a woman who makes herself as beautiful as she can be and who looks in the mirror to tidy herself up before he comes home. Every woman has a right to be married to a man who keeps himself clean, physically as well as morally, and takes pride in his appearance. A husband should hurry home because of the angel who awaits him, and that angel should be watching the clock awaiting his arrival. “ Reminds me of the story “When Queens Ride By.” It also brought to mind some of the posts by NieNie as she tries to decide what outfit to put on to greet Mr. Nielsen when he comes home from work.

“There are those who flippantly say: “How I look has nothing to do with how God feels about me.” But it is possible for both earthly and heavenly parents to have unspoken disappointment in their offspring without diminished love. I say it again: Sometimes heaven blushes but loves on.” Oh how I love this last line!

And a final thought I want my own daughters to realize, “Dear daughters of God, you are the crown jewels of all of His creations. There has never been a sunset, symphony, or work of art as lovely as you. May you catch the vision that you are destined to be a refined and regal queen, honored by an uncountable posterity, worlds without end.”

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this talk if you’ve read it before or have time to read it now.