Can you believe it? It has been wonderful so far. Great insights from our guest bloggers, terrific comments from you readers, and generous donations from prize sponsors. Let’s keep the momentum going!
Our next guest blogger is none other than the ever witty Charlotte who blogs at Memories for Later.
Advice from an experienced mother changed the way I pray, particularly how I pray for my children. While still in my early twenties and yet to even experience the joy of potty training, nurturing teenagers was far from my mind. Still, I knew my time would come, and I listened. The exact words elude me, as does the name of the speaker, but the lesson lingers still. I’d like to share it with all of you.
You can pray for your children to be safe from all harm, to be protected from every evil, to never suffer, hurt, or make mistakes -or- you can pray your children will have the experiences they individually need to develop a strong testimony of the Savior and the gospel. You can pray for the wisdom needed to nurture them through those times. Just be prepared for the consequences.
Did you know that prayer has consequences? If you don’t believe me, go pray for patience.
The second option for prayer is frightening. It takes courage to ask the Lord to send you what you need instead of what you want. More courage to ask it for yourself and your family. Years later, I found my children on the brink of the teenager years. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time on my knees asking for motherly wisdom. Not long after beginning those prayers, I found myself in a different state, far from my friends, my family and my deeply loved house which hadn’t yet sold. In the middle of a harsh New England winter, we stayed in a rented, uninsulated, poorly furnished, dishwasherless summer home. My husband was working horrendous hours and the kids were not adjusting to the new place. As I hung laundry for a family of eight in the basement because the dryer was broken, my heart cried out, “Why are we HERE? Why must we all be so miserable?” and at that moment, the answer came: “This, THIS, is the answer to your prayer. Stop complaining. Start learning the wisdom you asked for, the wisdom you need.”
Did I say to pray for patience if you want to learn about the consequence of prayer? Try praying for wisdom.
Moroni taught we needed two things when we ask the Lord for things in prayer: “ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent” (Moroni 10:4). It is hard to have a sincere heart when you pray for what is needed and not what is wanted. It is sometimes even harder to really intend to act on the answers. I think it takes a lot of practice and experience to pray for the ability to truly nurture our children in the way that is needed.
I’ve learned that if I can’t quite pray WITH a sincere heart and real intent, it helps to pray FOR a sincere heart and real intent. Just be prepared for the consequences.
Like I mentioned in the beginning, this older mother’s talk changed my perspective; I use the term “older” loosely as I believe she was about the age I am now. After listening to her I realized that, when it comes to motherhood, I did not want to ask for an easy path, I wanted the necessary one. That doesn’t mean I don’t pray for my children’s suffering to be lessened, that I relish the hard times or mistakes they make. I just accept that sometimes the pain is necessary to learn the lessons and testimonies we all need.
After reading this wonderful post I realize you may be wondering why I used the word witty to describe Charlotte. Go read her blog, especially Goldilocks and the Bears are a Bunch of Liars, and you’ll understand why. ☺
Hello, my name is Charlotte and I really did have six children in 10 years. How did I manage to stay sane? I had 6 kids before I turned 30! Obviously, I’ve lost my mind. When I’m not blogging at Memories for Later, I can be found Sudokuing, reading, enjoying the beach, and embracing the craziness that is my life. Judging from appearances, I also enjoy cleaning bathrooms, running after kids, memorizing Dr. Suess books, and telling children to shush at the library.
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Hmm…guess I need to be careful then. But I too have had my fair share of prayers answered.
In all fairness though I did pray for understanding and was blessed with a beautiful daughter who in her 3 1/2 years taught me more than I had learned in 25.
Loved your post
All I know is that I need to pray MORE!! But praying better would be good too! 🙂 Thanks for this lesson!
I totally understand your version of prayer and still chuckle over agreeing. Our WML has a program. Currently we are praying for “CHARITY” and I chuckled over that as I was handed the block of wood with that word on it…..oh joy, I knew! Prayer for Charity and I know what’s comin’.
and it did.
Oh I prayed for protection from evils for my children, still do now, including my grands. The flip side is that I know the Lord will give us what we need, and we will just have to come to understand why and how. But I understand what you were so wisely wrote.
Love it, I always do think of what my consequence might be, infact in may impair my prayers! Great blog.
I have prayed for patience many times, and right now we are learning how very different the Lords time is then ours! 🙂
It really is a blessing that the Lord knows us and knows what we need. (I only wish that we could just grow without trial sometimes…) 🙂
Love it! Thanks for the great post.
Thanks for the post. I loved how you kept saying be prepared for the consequences. This just made me smile. We all want to pray for the things that we need and that we need to do but are so afraid of the consequences, but the blessings will so outweigh the consequences and I am grateful to the Lord for that. Thanks for this wonderful post to remind us of prayer.
wonderfully said! I’m not quite ready for the consequences so I’m going to pray for safety for a little while longer, although the Lord still blesses us with trials.
Beautifully done Charlotte! I’m not sure I’m brave enough yet to ask for what my girls need. I know that it is really critical that I do. The thought definitely make me uncomfortable but maybe that’s the lesson I needed to learn today. Thanks. I think.
What a great post for me today. I’m near falling apart at the seams this week and I know where I can turn for the answers I need.
SUCH a great post Charlotte! You really got me thinking….you were definitely inspired to write this;)
Very nice post Charlotte! It certainly helped me to think in a different way! Thanks for sharing your wisdom (no- the word wisdom doesn’t mean that you’re old!)
-Vi
Thanks for the advice. Definitely worth remembering as my toddlers grow!
I made a poster for my seminary students that will hang all year long. We are studying the Doctrine and Covenants and church history this year. The poster is simply a picture of Joseph Smith with these words next to it: “Do you think he was ever sorry that he asked?”
The message being that we, too, should not be sorry when we ask even when – no especially when – the trials and hardships come. And come they will.
But we asked. He is there and will help us get through.
Wonderful post, Charlotte!
some advice i must have heard but forgot where, is that we pray for each child by name in our family prayers. The children will feel (hopefully) loved, included, cherished etc. When we remember to do it , I think it is nice.
I love Charlotte’s blog and the way she writes. Very, very well picked guest blogger.
Thanks for sharing this! There are times I’ll question whether I’ve been momentarily cursed, but this gives me the perspective that difficult moments and trials are actually blessings.
Now think how many young moms you are passing this on to…..
Great lesson. I too wonder why things go the way they do when we try so hard for them to go the other way. Prayer is very powerful. Thanks for the post.
You always get told to be careful what you ask for, but to put in the perspective of pray/asking for something is definitely something to ponder! I really loved reading your post. Very wise words to remember and live by, especially as I am at the beginning stages of teenagers. Thank you so much for your thoughts!
Very wise, Charlotte. Thank you for sharing that.
Charlotte, I love the title of that post and the entire thing! I’ve suffered consequences of what I’ve prayed for before so I know what you’re talking about. It’s so true.
I completely agree with consequences of praying. There was a joke on my mission that if you prayed to stay out of a certain area, that would be the area that you spent the most time in. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on the level of my faith that day, the wisdom I have prayed for is smacking us on the head right now with a sharp ice pick…Charlotte is one of my favorite friends who always helps me pick myself up after a long day of yuckiness.
Thank you for having some wonderful guest postings!
I’m very careful for what virtues I pray for now. I have a very solid testimony of the Lord’s existence and His willingness to answer our prayers quite literally. I do not ask for anything now that I do not actually want. 🙂 Lesson learned, Lord! Anyway, this is really awesome. I’m scared out of my mind to actually pray for things to happen that my children need, though. Gotta have some faith! Thanks for your faith – it’s boosting me up in this.