written by Misfit Cygnet
All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny….Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.
Several years ago, when I was eight months pregnant with my third child, my husband was required by work to attend a two day conference held at a luxury resort. Since the resort happened to be less than an hour from our home, and since he had an free room for the conference, he invited me to come up with him to spend an evening alone.
He didn’t even have to try to convince me! Excited about the prospect of living for one day and night in absolute luxury, I packed my bags and went to the resort hotel to meet him.
Once there, I quickly began to notice something. Aside from the beautiful details, excellent craftsmanship, and splendour of the place, I was also very aware of the women in the hotel.
They were all beautiful.
They all had their hair done. Nails done. Make up was perfect. Clothing exquisite and fashionable—and they were wearing pantyhose and high heels! I hadn’t worn pantyhose in ages because pregnancy and pantyhose, in my world, are completely incompatible. These women were all breathtaking.
I walked to the elevator and just missed it. As the doors were closing–to my horror– I realized they were the kind that were brightly polished and they were showing my reflection. I was aghast! Not having been in front of a full length mirror for a few months, I was surprised to see that my belly had grown to epic proportions, and my tent dress (which was all that I could fit in at the time), had what appeared to be some sort of baby slobber on it. My hair, although I had attempted a style, was not cooperating (most likely due to the hormones raging throughout my very swollen body), and my nails were ragged. I prayed that the elevator would open quickly so I would not have to behold the spectre of my visage any longer.
If I could have, I would have sprinted to the hotel room. As it was, I just waddled as fast as I could.
Slamming the door, I tried to dramatically throw myself on the bed. I succeeded in getting to the bed and then I started to cry. How ugly I felt!
Most of the time, I wasn’t too critical of myself. My husband always had a way of making me feel beautiful. But at that moment, I felt…hideous.
Later that week, I was home again. It was a rainy day, and I was contemplating my feelings regarding the resort (actually, I was feeling a bit sorry for myself). My son, then just a toddler, asked me to read him a story. To my amazement, the Spirit whispered to me very strongly,
“Read that one.”
I looked down and picked up “The Velveteen Rabbit.” I began to read:
“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out
handle?”
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
At that moment, perhaps for the first time in my life, I understood with perfect clarity that I was not ugly at all—I was just becoming Real.
And now, after these many years, I have become shabby and most of my hair has been loved off, and I am very loose in my joints–but I am not ugly to those who love me, and I am not ugly to my Father in Heaven. I am actually becoming more and more beautiful in His eyes as I daily attempt to fulfill my divine destiny as a mother.
I see that same realness in so many mothers, and I hope they know that I think they are beautiful.
To borrow the immortal words of Emerson:
Let us treat men and women well: treat them as if they were real: perhaps they are.
Misty (Misfit Cygnet), is a former Thespian, cheerleader, political blogger, visual arts merchandiser, and Australian flower farmer. Having moved a lot growing up in the Navy, she has married a husband that is equally adventurous and they have been all over the country with their ten children, always learning from the different-ness of all the many beautiful places they have been honored to live. Out of all of those places, she claims Idaho as home.
She and her family currently live in Utah, where Misty is currently loving and teaching and learning from her children. In her free time, she is working on an exclusive novel just for her family, and sometimes she even sleeps. She recently began blogging, which has been a journey of self-reflection, repentance, and…fun. Misty also enjoys museums, concerts, hiking, research, antiques, caring for old horses, raising chickens, organic food, pregnancy, child rearing, and dates with her husband.
If you have written any posts about your family or covered a topic from The Family Proclamation leave a link to your post so others can come and read!
© 2007-2010 Chocolate on my Cranium, LLC all rights reserved
Wow. What a “real”ly beautiful story and a great lesson.
I was thinking…
…the women at the hotel may have been beautiful in real ways too but it was the easy-to-spot “unreal” ways that were so intimidating. Comparisons can be poison and for women that seems to be an easy trap.
wow…excellent. Me? I love panty hose even when pregnant, even under jeans. I am the real pantyhose but I loved them more when I was skinny. But I totally agree….and fat will just have to do for now. My 4th daughter had a velveteen cat, Grey Kitty. Still has him. She so wanted a kitty but was SO allergic. But Grey Kitty cannot get any more real than he is…and he’s helped to make her very real. I love that story….might be a good day to read it with my husband. thank you!
Well-said! What a beautiful post! Perhaps we should all put a picture of the velveteen rabbit next to our mirrors!
What a nice post.
Thank you for your post.
I often fall into the trap of comparing myself to others and there so called perfection.
But then I remember that I am a daughter of God who loves me Unconditionally and I also have a wonderful family who love me with all my imperfections
There is nothing more beautiful than a Mother or a mother to be we are part of a divine plan.
It always surprises me when I catch myself feeling like an ugly duckling. This is such a great post, I shared it on my blog.
http://raejean-easyaspie.blogspot.com
What a beautiful post! It really was just what I needed this morning.
What a beautiful post, and so true! A good reminder for me.
What a beautiful reminder! I think I need to go re-read the Velveteen Rabbit…
This is a great story. Thanks.
Wow, what a great story. So many times in my life I have felt that way. I love your parallel with the Velveteen Rabbit. Thank you!
I LOVE this post. Thank you!
Boy, did I need this! It’s almost sad how often I need reminders of truths like this.
Thank you:)
What a great reminder. I think I will have to break out that story again and read it to my kids today.
Wow. That was powerful. I often feel that way when I go with my husband to work things. All the other women have perfect hair and designer dresses and I feel out of place. Now I’ll have something to remind myself when I start to feel shabby.
I loved this story and how comfort came to you while you were serving your children.
When I start feeling not-so-pretty, I like to dress up a little more. You know, I little more makeup, nail polish, and stuff, taking a little more care than usual. It helps me feel better.
WOW! Maybe I shouldn’t have read that at work.. Made me cry. I VERY VERY much needed to hear that. Thank you for the reminder that we are beautiful, wonderful, special, daughters of God.
Beautiful and true. Thank you so much for a sorely-needed uplift today!
This so went along with the talk I was reading this morning by Elder Ballard from April conference. He reminds us to help our daughters model themselves after righteous women – mothers.
Nothing is more real or beautiful to me than a mother and her children.
Well written Misty, thank you.
So very real. And beautiful. And inspired.
Thank you.
This was a wonderful post! I have many times felt I wasn’t very beautiful or talented. I am very proud however, that I am a mother to five beautiful children. Although they may overwhelm me at times I feel honored that Heavenly Father would allow me to help raise some of His sons and daughters.
What a great post for me today. He always knows what we need to hear and when, doesn’t He??? Thanks so much for your story.
beautiful!
The experience is very well written. I believe that there are times in everyone’s life that they feel hideous and want to sprint/waddle away pregnant or not. Like it says at the bottom of the comment post “choose an identity” and become the best you can be.
Thank you so much for this post. I think there are so many mothers and women who don’t feel beautiful but are so beautiful to their families and those who love them. This was beautiful I needed this thank you so much.
That is so beautiful! I’ll remember that next time I feel shabby and weary.
One of my all time favorite books for exactly that reason. Great post about something that we all struggle with every once in a while!
one of my favorite stories. This post touched my heart, thank you!
What a great reminder and lovely story
Thank you, I needed to hear this. Perfect.
Thank you for sharing! Very, very great post.
Enjoyed discovering your blog…great story with an important moral that we all need to remember.
I live in So Cal and have so many “beautiful” women all around me. I love this post and have to remember that I am REAL!
Thank you so much for sharing such a personal experience. This really resonates with me… Thank you…again and again.
That is very cool! Every Christmas we give the kids one fun gift, one book, and an ornament that represents something unique or monumental about their year. This is DEFINITELY one I need to add to my list of books to get them. It’s been a long time since I read it. Thanks for the reminder!
Oh my. Having a very hard time with the mothering, and the Life thing lately….and this helps so much. Thank you!! (I followed a friend’s FB link here. 🙂
I just had to thank you again, Misty, for such a wonderful post. The other day I felt rather like an old frumpled ugly duckling when my son lovingly gave me hug out of the blue and said, “You are so pretty, mama.” I then remembered, I am REAL.
That was beautiful, and so are you. I am grateful to you for this post…Well done.