2008.
That has been the hardest year of my life to date.
It started off with good news – another baby would be joining our family! And I was busy planning a surprise trip for Mr. Ferrero Rocher’s birthday to visit Kirtland, Palmyra, and Niagara Falls – just the two of us.
Tens days before we were to leave at the end of March I suffered a miscarriage {eight weeks along}. I was devastated! I knew I had been lucky to have had seven children without experiencing any problems. My doctor gave me the go ahead to go on our trip. It was healing to grieve together as no one else had even known about the pregnancy to begin with. As we visited the places of early church history where so many suffered their own trials of hardship it helped to keep our own in perspective. I came back renewed, missing my other children terribly, and ready to face everyday life again.
Spring turned into summer. We were enjoying a visit from my brothers and youngest sister when we received a phone call before church, “The stake president would like to meet with you both right after church.” I knew instantly what was going to happen…had been feeling it for a few weeks. Mr. FR wasn’t so sure. Turns out I was right! He was called to be the new bishop of our ward. It was humbling to say the least! We all had to learn to adjust to his new calling. I wouldn’t say it was hard just different. Both of us had parents who had served faithfully in demanding callings – Mr. FR’s father as a stake president, mine as a branch president. Our mothers sustained them by keeping things running at home. Neither of us could remember our mothers complaining in any way so it was “natural” so to speak to ease into this demanding service because of their examples. It was, and is, very demanding!
It was about this time that we found out I was pregnant again. I was a little bit wary but carried on with hope. In September the kids and I traveled to Utah to meet Shannon and Dean Hale who were making an appearance at my mom’s bookstore. It was a so much fun! But we left a day early. I had felt a tiny “pop,” started bleeding, and new another miscarriage was eminent {eleven weeks along}. I just wanted to get home to be with my husband and kids. My parents were very understanding, worried about me driving so far by myself, but I assured them I would be okay.
This miscarriage was different than the previous one. For some reason I felt completely at peace even though this time around I had to have a lot of blood work and tests done. It was determined that I had a blighted ovum and no baby had developed to begin with. I think that is why I had felt at peace before even knowing the results of the lab work. The Lord let me know. We did tell our children this time and also told them of the previous miscarriage in March. The older girls cried thinking about a sibling they would never meet. But it was a wonderful opportunity for us all to renew our faith in the Lord and gain a deeper understanding of His plan for us.
I’ve really only glossed over what occurred in 2008 in this post. Those three events were life changing in different ways. I learned a lot about myself. I also learned to rely more on the Lord and to recognize His goodness in all things, good and bad.
“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” {Philippians 4:11-13}
Join us for Wordfull Wednesday! Write a post about today’s topic on a time where you’ve had to make an adjustment to meet an unexpected event in your life.
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Boy, aren’t you grateful for your faith at such times? What a tough year for you that was. I’m glad that although I haven’t been able to have as many children as I would like, that I haven’t had miscarriages. Not fun.
Hugs. I’m so sorry.
I am so glad I stayed up and read this post. My youngest daughter is in the process of miscarring to day. She has four children but has wanted another baby for a long time. A year ago she had a ectopic pregnancy and we almost lost her. She was doing well today and facing this with great strength and faith. I can see that you did the same thing.
Being a Bishop’s wife is another huge challenge; but the blessings are incrediable.
Thanks for a heartfelt post and I needed to read this and will send the link to my daughter. Blessings and hugs to you!
I just want to let you know that your words have been sent to a young man, learning a difficult language, away from home, and struggling through his own time of challenge. Thank you for sharing, for I told him to have courage and keep pressing forward. Thank you.
I’m so glad you shared this today, when I read your blog sometimes I wonder why some people “seemingly” have it so easy (when it comes to having babies). I suffered a miscarriage last summer and we’ve been trying ever since, sadly unsuccessfully. My husband and I have always wanted a big family, but we didn’t realize after having two sweet boys fairly easily that we would have to wait for any more. Waiting is hard. Your words bring me comfort. Thank you!
The Philippians verse is one of my favorites. I feel it’s a mantra during some extremely difficult life patches.
♥ Hugs to you ♥
Thank you so much for sharing, everyone has their different challenges and struggles in life, don’t they? Thank goodness for faith. While in college I spent a week visiting the Kirtland/Palmyra/Niagra area as well. It was such a wonderful, restorative place. I especially loved the Sacred Grove and the Whitney Store.
Don’t you love Philippians? Elder Holland has called it one of his favorite books in the New Testament and once expressed the feeling that it was “too seldom read.” So many great treasures in that epistle. 🙂
I love to read what you write. Thank you for sharing such tender feelings.
I am sorry to hear about your hardships. I am very thankful you shared your struggles, I recently miscarried at 9 weeks after having 4 children. It was so hard physically and still is hard emotionally. I wasn’t prepared for how painful it was and how sadness would sneak up on me when I was feeling fine. I feel so much more compassion for women that have miscarried. I appreciate much more how precious life is, that every birth is such a miracle, and how lucky I am to have four terrific kids. Perspective is what we gain from these trying times.
Thank you for sharing this, Montse. I really enjoy getting to know you better through your beautiful posts.
Thanks for your post, Montse! I have noticed that some years seem to be like that-when it rains, it pours. And when the year is over, I pray the next one will be better:) But, all in the Lord’s wisdom and personalized training for our lives-He knows best. I hope you don’t have to suffer any more miscarriages. Love ya!
Wow! 2008 was very challenging for us too – but I certainly would not be where I am today having not suffered through those challenges Thanks for sharing yours