Leslie Ann Fry, born in Richmond, California, moved to Winnemucca Nevada in 1974, then to Caldwell Idaho in 1975, back to Winnemucca in 1990. Daughter of two, sister of four, wife of one, mother of two, Relief Society sister of millions! As a family, we enjoy camping, fishing, bird hunting, hiking, (although I don’t look like it), and classic trucks. I personally enjoy sewing, crafts, reading, cooking, gardening, and writing. I have a testimony of the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Book of Mormon, being led by prophets and apostles, and eternal families.
It has been my honor to have been asked to speak about The Family, A Proclamation to the World. It has been seventeen years since President Hinckley stood before the women of the Church and presented to us, among other things;
“THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.”
I did some research and found that in the past seventeen years the attack on the family has been horrendous, including, but not exclusive to things like the White House sex scandal, the Columbine High School shootings, Dolly, the first cloned sheep was produced, homeland terrorism such as the Oklahoma City bombing occurred, and the Virginia Tech shootings, and other school shootings, mandated contraceptives, and a U.S president coming out in support of legalized gay marriages, and other attacks. On January 22, 2008, the 50,000,000th abortion was performed since the 1973 Roe v Wade court mandated decision. Women age 25 and up now account for 49.8% of abortions performed, and in 2004, 43.9% of abortions are repeat abortions.
A consultant to the Census Bureau estimated that there were roughly 100,000 same sex weddings, civil union, and domestic partnerships reported in 2008. At that time, there were few states where marriage between same sex couples were legal, a large portion either were married or chose to use that term. Over time, the number of single parent families living in the United States has grown. Between the years of 1970 and 1996, the number of children living in two parent homes decreased from 85 to 68 percent.
Elder Boyd K. Packer, an Apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, has stated;
“The creation of life is a great responsibility for a married couple. It is the challenge of mortality to be a worthy and responsible parent. Neither man nor woman can bear children alone. It was meant that children have two parents—both a father and a mother. No other pattern or process can replace this one. The ultimate end of all activity in the Church is to see a husband and his wife and their children happy at home, protected by the principles and laws of the gospel, and sealed safely in the covenants of the everlasting priesthood. Husbands and wives should understand that their first calling—from which they will never be released—is to one another and then to their children.”
Why was this pattern of family set up from the beginning of time? And, how can we, as mere mortals expect to change it, and not expect dire consequences from so doing? Are we not experiencing the loss of virtue, dysfunctional families, and children having and raising children, their own and siblings while both parents are out in the workforce, and general hate and discontent in society? Would not these be the dire consequences we should expect? We, as responsible citizens of the world, have the opportunity to change this cycle by living the plan as set up by a loving and merciful Father in Heaven. We need to raise our children upon the principles and precepts of Jesus Christ—to love and serve one another, help each other, and promote healthy and loving family relationships. Once that pattern of love is established within the walls of our homes, it will be a natural extension to spread love and service to all people we meet and greet. How better to change an attitude than by living it ourselves, and lovingly showing our virtuous lives, and living of commandments to others. Just as Jesus Christ taught us “line upon line, and precept upon precept” we have the opportunity to return to virtue, and living of our Heavenly Father’s plan, as established in the beginning, one little step at a time. May we all live, and teach our children to live, in families of father, mother, and children, obedient to a loving Heavenly Father, and in so doing, bring peace and happiness to our lives.
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”
–Anne Frank
“We cannot afford to be complacent. We live in perilous times; the signs are all around us. We are acutely aware of the negative influences in our society that stalk traditional families. At times television and movies portray worldly and immoral heroes and heroines and attempt to hold up as role models some actors and actresses whose lives are anything but exemplary. Why should we follow a blind guide? Radios blare forth much denigrating music with blatant lyrics, dangerous invitations, and descriptions of almost every type of evil imaginable.
We, as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, must stand up to the dangers which surround us and our families.
May we ever follow the Prince of Peace, who literally showed the way for us to follow, for by doing so, we will survive these turbulent times. His divine plan can save us from the dangers which surround us on every side. His example points the way. When faced with temptation, He shunned it. When offered the world, He declined it. When asked for His life, He gave it.”
-President Thomas S. Monson, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Another part of The Proclamation speaks to me on a more personal level. I am an adoptive mother of two wonderful kids, (adults now). When growing up, all I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother. When the blessing of bringing children into this world in the natural way was denied my husband and me, we began the adoption process with the state of Idaho. At first, because of the old farmhouse in which we lived, we were denied on the basis of the home study. We worked hard to improve our situation, and a year later, re-applied. About another year of waiting and a beautiful four month old baby girl was placed in my arms. My husband, being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints asked if we could have her blessed, at Church. We were able to contact the Bishop of the near-by ward, and have her blessed. Of course, being the good Bishop that he was, he later sent the missionaries to our home, and I converted. Four years later, through our membership in the Church, our son was placed in my arms.
The Family Proclamation states;
“IN THE PREMORTAL REALM,, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life…Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs…”
I truly believe that each of my children was meant for our home and no one else’s. I could not provide the vehicle to get those little spirits here, and Heavenly Father knew that and provided that for us. How kind and wise He is, and how grateful I am. I love being a mother. There is a chorus to a song about a girl giving her child up for adoption that says; “From God’s arms, to my arms, to yours.” That explains beautifully, just how much love there is involved to get the right spirits to the right homes. The home our daughter and son were meant to have, because I truly believe that in the “premortal realm” those two little spirits chose us to raise them in the “love and righteousness”, and “provide for their physical and spiritual needs” that their “birth” mothers could not provide for them.
Thank you Leslie! How blessed so many are because of the gift of adoption! Now hop on over to We Talk of Christ, Diapers and Divinity, and Middle-aged Mormon Man to read more posts about the Family Proclamation!
Chantelle says
What a beautiful post. Thank you, Leslie! I was adopted at age seven, and am an only child. My parents aren’t members of the church, but it is amazing to me that they have echoed your sentiments regarding adoption almost to the letter. Although my husband and I are able to conceive naturally, I have a fire burning in my heart for adoption and am hoping to bring a little one into our family this way someday.
LESLIE says
My husband was adopted, as well, to an inactive and a non-member, just as we were when we adopted our daughter. Heavenly Father will prepare homes for those spirits who need to find good, loving parents, from “birth” mothers who so LOVINGLY choose what is best for their child. I have nothing but admiration to those women who choose the best for thier unborn infants
Susan says
We had an already FULL family of 6 children,when we adopted my brother Charlie. He was nine and had issues he is still dealing with today from his earlier childhood. My mother who was a teacher in his school, felt he was supposed to be in our family.Her feelings were so strong she could not deny it. She recieved a lot of flack for it as “didn’t we already have enough children?” We brought him home, taught him the gospel, and made him apart of our eternal family. think adoption is one of the most Christ-like things we can do for those who feel inspired to do so. What a great post and story.
Chocolate on my Cranium says
We have so many friends and family who have adopted, even though they also have biological children, who say the same thing! Those children are meant to go to those families. It is amazing to see how the Lord works in our lives!
LESLIE says
The heart is an amazing muscle! It can expand, expand, and expand some more. It loves without knowing color, baggage, mental or physical limitations. It can love a baby, a child and even most adults!! Someone once told me they could never adopt because it would not be “their own” child, and did not know if they would love it–that is the most senseless statement I’ve ever heard!
Jocelyn Christensen says
Thanks, Leslie – Those statistics are really jaw-droppers!
Rachael says
I can’t believe its been that long since President Hinckley first read the Proclamation! So grateful for a prophet.
Lindsey Cortes says
I love to hear others with the same beliefs and values I have take a stand for the family. It gets so frustrating at times when I feel bombarded with what the world thinks and thinks I should think. Thank you for your lovely post.
Amber P. says
This is so beautifully written. I also have a testimony that our family is supposed to be our family even if it takes non-traditional means to get everyone together!
Steve Dalton says
Leslie, thank you for your courage to stand up for the truth. We too know the trials of infertility and are considering adoption ourselves. Thanks for your example.
LESLIE says
Prayfully make your decision, and if it’s right for you and your spouse, apply either through a state, church, adoption agency, or a lawyer. Do it legally, and the blessings will flow! Prayers for you to attain the family you desire.
Daphne says
We also adopted. We were blessed to have one biological child. We went through foster care and adopted 3 little kids and than we heard of my cousins and we decided to adopt the 4 of them. They range in age from 14 to 7 when we got them. Our family grew from one child to 8 in 3 years. We love our blended family and every day we thank heavenly father for our children. The line in the proclamation where it states family members are to step in where needed, we did that for this branch of family. We are currently taking in 4 more of my cousins (different family) so they can be in a safe home.
LESLIE says
Wow! Good for you!! What a wonderful world it would be, if there were more people like you to open your homes and your hearts!
Abby says
I think one of Satan’s greatest tools is to convince us that there’s nothing we can do to change a situation, but the Proclamation and the beautiful quotes you shared from our Prophet and Apostles reaffirm that that just isn’t true. It’s amazing how much influence we can have as parents and how that influence can spread and impact the world around us. The family really is central to His plan.
LESLIE says
Isn’t he just the king of deception and self-doubt?
Kestrel says
I loved this post. I am partially adopted and have been considering adoption for our family as I can’t have any more biological kids. It makes me nervous sometimes but reading posts like this really help. Thanks!
LESLIE says
go for it!
McMullin's says
Thank you so much. My husband and I just recently had to stop doing foster care where we were hoping to adopt one of the sweet little ones we had.Due to not being able to add biological children at this time we are working towards being able to do adoption and this process of preparing is building my testimony that those who come into our family even for a short time is where they are ment to be
Diane says
I really enjoyed your post. Thank you
Crystal Pistol says
Beautifully put. I love that song and about from my arms to yours. It always makes me cry.
Cardon Times says
Lovely post.
Bridget says
I loved reading through the statistics you cited and considering yet again how important following revelation is to our happiness. Thanks for sharing.
fhelessons says
Great article! I totally agree that Satan has been launching an all out war against the family – from the prevalence of abortion to acceptance of same gender marriage to the attitude that a person doesn’t need to have children as long as she loves her dog. It’s very scary! And even good people are being deceived by the current attitudes of the world. If you’re interested, check out my blog post here: http://fhelessons.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/my-epiphany/