I really enjoyed last week’s discussion about tablecloths – whether you use them or not and why. Who knew that a simple thing like that would generate so many comments? I realized there are quite a few things relating to how a home is run, parenting, etc that could be catalysts for more good discussions. I think I will make it a weekly series but need to come up with a good name. Any suggestions? I’ll send a little prize {a handmade hobo bag} to whoever can come up with the best suggestions for a series of posts about everything homemaking/parenting! Leave suggestions in the comments. Thanks for the suggestions. Come and vote for your favorite here!
This week I’d like to share the answer to a question I frequently get: “How much computer time, TV, video games, etc. do you allow your children to do in your home?”
Now before I share what we do remember that every family is unique with different standards, different lifestyles, different ages, etc. What works for us may not work for you. You might think we are too strict {or too lenient} and that’s okay! I want this to be a ‘sharing what works for us’ post {and in the comments}.
For the past decade we’ve used coupons to help control how much tv and computer time is used in our house. I still use the same old graphics.
The coupons are given out at the beginning of each week – four 30 minute computer coupons, two TV coupons, and two movie coupons. They have to turn in a coupon if they want to play a computer game, watch a 1/2 hour TV show, or watch a movie. The exceptions are they can play educational computer games (we defined exactly what those games are), watch the news, or watch a movie with the whole family (dad included).
There is a monetary value attached to the coupons: TV coupons = 50 cents, Computer coupons = $1, Computer coupons = $1.50. If they choose not to play on the computer or watch TV or a movie they can turn their coupons in for the cash value instead. I have one daughter who automatically turns in most of her coupons as soon as she gets them. She’d rather have the cash then be tempted with coupons in her pocket.
All of the coupons are labeled with each person’s name. We found this easy to keep track of whose coupons were whose in case someone left theirs on the counter, for instance, no one else could take them and claim them as theirs.
This has worked really well for us. It helps the little ones learn to manage their time better. At first they usually blow through their coupons in two days and then are left with “nothing to do” the rest of the week. The middle children (ages 10-12) usually trade their coupons in for money instead. Once they reach 13 we don’t use coupons anymore as they have established pretty good habits of using electronic media. They are also working on the farm by that time and have their own checking account.
If you would like to use coupons I created an editable pdf file with TV, movie and computer coupons. When you download the file the editable fields will be highlighted as shown below. You put the child’s name at the top and the cash value of the coupon at the bottom. Then print the personalized coupons to use! Click on the graphic to go to the file.
* How do you manage electronic media use in your family?
* Do you have set time limits?
* Or do they have to earn the use of the computer or TV?
Addendum: Here’s where I post answers to the questions in the comments.
#1) When someone pays their ticket to watch a tv show, can anyone else watch it? Or do they each have to pay a ticket to watch, even if they didn’t pick the show?
If someone else wants to watch TV or a movie then they have to pay a ticket too. They also are required to pay a ticket if they are in the same room as the TV. I have caught one child occasionally sitting at the “right” spot at the kitchen table where they can still see the TV without having paid a ticket. 🙂
#2) By the time 3 children have had computer time (we don’t have a tv so they watch hulu or the like) that adds up to 90 minutes total–way too much for my littles. Yet, in our teeny tiny house, where else can I send the others while the one gets his/her time?
When only one child wants to turn in a ticket for a movie they have to watch it on the laptop with headphones. This really helps to cut down the TV noise. Using headphones on a regular computer also cuts down on anyone wanting to watch a computer game that is going on. It’s just not as interesting without the sound effects!
For computer time, there aren’t enough coupons for each child to do the computer every single day. Typically only one or two want to do it anyway. I have at times told a third child “No, not today. You can be first tomorrow.” when the computer has been on for an hour. This is also true for the TV.
I Love this idea and am totally going to use it! Thanks so much!
I have a question. When someone pays their ticket to watch a tv show, can anyone else watch it? Or do they each have to pay a ticket to watch, even if they didn’t pick the show?
If they are in the same room they have to pay a ticket. Sometimes I will catch one parked at the kitchen table slyly watching the tv in the other room. But that only happens every now and then. 🙂
I second Nikki. By the time 3 children have had computer time (we don’t have a tv so they watch hulu or the like) that adds up to 90 minutes total–way too much for my littles. Yet, in our teeny tiny house, where else can I send the others while the one gets his/her time?
Which is why my children don’t get any scheduled computer time except their homeschool stuff. Then if I ever do let them watch something they think it is a huge treat.
The plus is that my children rarely bother me to use the computer as they know I get irritated and say, “NEVER” and their chances of getting computer time shrinks considerably. Also, their behavior is better when they don’t use the computer. After ten minutes their brains turn to mush and they start to act out. Also, when I do turn on Come Outside or something while I get dinner on, they are riveted and I get some things done.
The downside is I can’t use taking away privileges as a punishment. My kids don’t have any privileges. 🙂 Makes discipline a little harder.
Can’t wait to hear other people’s ideas. I think your weekly post is a great idea. You could call it “Idea Potluck.” Okay, I stink at creative naming. Good luck with that.
Good question! I’ll go back and add an addendum to my post answering it.
Nikki, I was wondering the same thing! At my house we have one tv and if all my kids had coupons it would be on all the time.
At our house here is how this works:
The only computer or video game time my kids get is 20-30 minutes on Saturday. Period. Too addicting! And they don’t have ipods, tablets, or other things with games/apps.
TV time is more flexible. We only have dvds and Netflix, with one TV in the house. No child is allowed to turn the tv on, or turn on a show. That is only done by parents (and yes, my seven are ages 1-11, so they are capable, we just don’t allow it). Reasoning – if I have to turn every show on I realize just how much the tv is on and send them off to play instead! We usually watch one tv show length cartoon while I’m cooking lunch, and one movie or 2-3 cartoons in the evening. In warmer times of year (it’s -14 today with wind chill) the tv is on less and we have days or weeks with no tv allowed. The kids are outside instead.
My kids love the warm weather! They still get the coupons but hardly ever use them because they are having way to much fun playing outside. They turn them in for the money and by the end of summer have accumulated quite a bit!
I like this series idea! I always enjoy hearing about what other people do and what works well for them. No ideas for a name though! 🙂
I love the ticket idea and have wanted to implement it myself, but like Nikki I haven’t been able to figure out how to manage it. When one kid is playing the computer the others all gather around just to watch! And the second the TV is on everyone gets sucked in too, even if it’s not something they would normally choose to watch (even my husband, hee hee)! I’d love to know how you work that out with your kids.
We are currently taking a whole month off of ALL “screen time.” It has been lovely, we really needed to detox after a free-for-all Christmas break! A friend of mine says that at their house they have two days a week (Tuesday and Thursday) that are “no screen time” days. I like that idea too.
How about calling it. “A Chat over Cocoa”? or “Daily Dose Discussion”? or “Cranial Scan”? Ha ha. Maybe I’m not good at titles.
I so need to be a better example to my kids about this. The other day my 6 year old asked me if I’d had enough screen time yet. Maybe I should use these coupons for myself.
“Cocoa Parenting Corner”, “Mother Moments”, “Homemaking Hub”?
Oh, title ideas:
How We Do It: Home and Family
What Works at Our House
Family Rules: What are Yours?
I also would like to know what you do if one wants to watch a show. Our house is pretty small so I wouldn’t really have anywhere to send my other kids.
How about
“Back to the Basics”
After reading through the comments I would submit the title,
“Everyone’s Two Cents”.
It leaves the topic open, encourages comments but doesn’t take itself too seriously. 😉
I’ll admit that we’re done raising our six kids now, and technology has changed rapidly. However, our youngest just left for college this past fall, so we’re not TOO far behind the times. After trial and error, what the family rule finally became was “absolutely no tv or electronic games on Sundays and after 6 PM on school nights.” If EVERYONE was finished with their homework, they could watch something after school and before dinner. They all loved Friday nights! Summertime rules were a bit different, but usually the limit was 30-60 minutes per day, and then they could extend it another 30-60 minutes by going outside and getting some exercise first. Also, if there was any arguing over whose turn to choose or what game to play it was immediately turned off. Every family is different, but this is what worked for us. We had the “rules” when they were younger, but as they got older the concept of “teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves” really came into play and tv and electronics was really a non-issue.
I think this would be a great series, and I kind of like Meg’s “Everyone’s Two Cents” title. Or maybe something like “Over the Back Fence.”
Series name suggestions: Chocolate Soup, Chocolate Filling, With Sprinkles On Top, A Slice of Life (With Sprinkles on Top?)…either I’m going with the chocolate theme or I’m just hungry…not sure which…
We just finished a “Fast From the World” at the invitation of our bishop. For the whole month of January we had no TV, movies, computer games, facebook, Pinterest, or texting for entertainment. It was a wonderful experience for our family. The kids didn’t even seem to miss the TV (they’re 8,7,3 and the baby is 6 months, so she obviously didn’t care). They enjoyed playing games, reading more, making art, and playing outside (even though it’s been COLD!). My husband and I probably had a harder time with it than they did, but we both agreed it was a good thing for all of us. We’re going forward with some tighter restrictions on the kids’ TV time, but they realize now how much they enjoyed those other activities, so it was a family decision. My husband and I have put tighter media restrictions on ourselves as well. 🙂
I love the coupons being worth money. Our kids earn screen time based on time spent outside (30 minutes outside = 5 minutes screen time) and we just keep a tally of what they’ve earned. Only problem is they usually have hundreds of minutes saved up, and then the only thing that keeps them from sitting and staring at a screen all at once is mean old mom still telling them when they can and cannot use them. I think we’ll be implementing your coupons, but still having them earn them. And, they can trade in for money too!
Thanks!
It’s so funny that you would post about this as this has been a major topic at our house, ever since Santa brought two iPad minis to our family at Christmas. Lots to chew on here. Right now we are sticking with our recent decision…the iPads (Guy’s) stays in the cabinet until Saturday! We realized our kids are still too young to navigate technology wisely and we aren’t ready for the full-time duty of monitoring it. So, this is easiest for the moment!
Here are a few ideas –
The Domestic Dollop, The Scoop (maybe a word before scoop – The Chocoloate Scoop?), Pillowtalk – Made me think of pillowcases as place mats – I am still thinking of tablecloths all the time :), Rustic Rap…?
I love reading about what other households do!
At our place, we have kids ranging from 16 to 5; we don’t own a TV set (haven’t for years, and when we did own one, we never had TV service… I didn’t grow up with TV, so it just seemed fine to continue on that way.)
We do have computers, and use those for on-line viewing and DVD-watching.
We don’t have any formal plan for limiting screen time. My older kids have nearly-complete agency to use the computer as needed for school or personal projects. If they’re getting mushroom-pale, or cranky, they’ll be asked to take a break. If they’re neglecting other responsibilities, they may have a restriction for a bit.
The little ones need to ask before using the computer, watching a movie, etc, and it’s a very flexible thing, based on the day. I find that if I give tokens, etc, my middlest girl will nag and push forever! If I keep it more flexible, she relaxes and doesn’t worry about it.
The two older kids have MP-3 players, and I don’t put any restrictions on their use, other than “not while you have company, while we’re having family chats, or during meals”. None of the kids has a cell phone.
Because I work from home (and on the computer for the most part), and have kids who use computers for both their school and their hobbies (game design, digitally-manipulated art, writing), and we all use the computer to communicate with family (none of whom are close to us, geographically), we use media a LOT. But we’ll also go on voluntary fasts, and that’s fine, too. We work pretty hard to help the kids learn to self-regulate their media/on-line time (as well as content!), right from the start, and so far, so good.
I liked your idea alot and will send the link to your blog to my children.
Blessings to you!
You mentioned you have a teeny tiny house….might I ask the square footage, # of bedrooms/bathrooms???? We also have a little house but don’t really want to go bigger. But I’d love to hear how you manage all the “stuff/things” that comes with having a family.
These are all fun to read! So far I don’t let my kids play the computer. Maybe someday…As for TV- we don’t do anything but movies from Netflix or our movie stash. I usually let them watch just 1 short 30-45 min. movie a day. They usually watch something first thing in the morning before I’m up and at ’em. That way I can sleep in after being up with the baby half the night. Sometimes they watch a video after lunch for rest time instead so I can have a little peace and quiet to get something done. I like the coupon idea. I’ve been trying to figure out how to let my kids earn money so they can learn to pay tithing.
Title Idea:
Happy Hearth and Home
Title Idea: What Would June [Cleaver] Do?
I have realized over the last few months that our TV/ media plan needs a new twist. Since the oldest started 1st grade, the rule has been NO TV during the school week. Friday afternoons would find them parked in front of tv, exhausted from the week. Also, we cancelled cable many years ago, so “tv” was really only PBS for the kiddos. With the advent of Netflix (which the husband and I like – watch what you want, when you want, without commercial) I am seeing the tv usage really bumping up – drastically. I liked that I could choose series for them that we approved of…Andy Griffith, The Cosby Show, etc – family morals shows. But, the oldest has discovered sarcastic wit shows (Wings/ Frasier). He’s old enough, but we have trouble keeping the littles out of the den during that time. So! I might be trying your system. I’d welcome the additional costs in coupon payout just to see less tv 🙂
LOVE your title idea!
This is so helpful and timely. We haven’t used any strict system up to now because both our kids are pretty young and they don’t have physical access to anything other than educational shows and games (with two exceptions that we supervise). But we have just started to notice an attitude that creeps on our older son when he has too much screen time at one sitting. I really think we will use your system. Thanks so much!!
Title Idea: “When There’s ____ at Home”
First time commenter! I love reading everyone’s suggestions.
We do something very similar. We call our coupons “D___ (Our last name) Dollars” and my kids must use one coupon for each 20 minutes of screen time. I bought a kitchen timer for the computer room, and one for the family room where the tv is. I don’t differentiate between DVDs/videos/netflix/online games/using mom’s kindle fire. It’s all the same. We used to have the problem of one kid using his D Dollar and then having the other 4 huddled around watching. Then, before everyone was done with his turn, we had the computer on all afternoon. So, now they must also pay a D Dollar even if they are in the room or watching. We also have two days (Mondays and Wednesdays) that we have declared “no screen days”. No one even asks anymore. They get one D Dollar for each day they are allowed screen time, and the only way they can earn additional dollars is outside play.
D Dollars are kept in little library check out pockets that are on our family bulletin board, each child has their own.
My oldest is just 12, and so far no one has any electronics that belong solely to one person (like a tablet or a Nintendo DS or a ipod touch), everything is community property and out in the open, and so this works pretty well for us.
Title idea: Pick your Brain
How about “Talk about it Tuesday” – but you would have to do it on Tuesday! 🙂
We have a “money” system. I have a bunch of monopoly money and they can earn it with chores, extra work, etc. They then buy their privilages with the money they earn. I also don’t give out an allowance, so we use a certain amount of the “mom cash” each month that they can exchange for real money.
Very similar to your system.
Or Pick your Cranium…
Cocoa, thank you so much for posting this! This very topic has been on my mind so much lately, but I have not come across a system that quite fits for us. I love this coupon system. Just finished printing coupons for my two boys. I love that they can turn them in for money if they so choose. My oldest would like to earn some money but I don’t believe in paying them to help around the house, so this is perfect for us. Can’t wait to start using the coupons. Again, thank you for sharing!
Along this same line of thinking, I would love a post and some more ideas on this topic, ” Keeping our Homes Safe from Harmful Media.” I think with internet cell phones, surfaces, ipads, etc., just keeping your computer in a public place is not enough.
Family Matters
Family Matters Cocoa Style
Chatting With Cocoa
Creating Our Cottage With Cocoa
Creating a Happy Home
Creating a Joyful Home
A Safe Gathering
Building A Safe Haven Within Our Home
Strengthening Our Sacred Walls Cocoa Style
My creative mind isn’t properly functioning tonight, but something along the lines of family or reinforcing/strengthening/fortifying the sacred walls within our home.
I stopped over from the Homemaking linkup as I am just after you. This is a nice blog that you have!! We don’t watch TV so that hasn’t been an issue. We do watch some things on the internet on occasion. Instilling values in your children is the main thing no matter what your standards would be. Then another factor is that your child will choose or not choose to balance these things we do today on the TV, computer, phone/internet, gaming, depending on his heart. He/she has a free will. All we can do as parents is to instill and guide them while they are young so that they make wise choices as young adults that would glorify the Lord. We are to be holy, but that doesn’t mean that we are holy in the first place. We fall way too short.
Good topic!!