Growing up, a beautifully framed copy of “The Family A Proclamation to the World” hung on the walls of my childhood home and I often stopped to read its words. I loved the council given to parents, “Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.” But it was the line about mothers that I would ponder again and again—“Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”

How I longed to one day be one of these mothers—raising children in loving righteousness, providing for their needs, teaching them to love and serve and to obey laws and commandments, nurturing. I was blessed to be raised by exquisite nurturers, I felt I knew all there was to know on the subject, and this was the mother I was striving to become.

            Eventually, I married my best friend in the temple, and we began our journey to parenthood. Soon little Tatem was born. He was so beautiful and taught us a lot about the meaning of these words and two years later, our daughter, Emerson was born.

            When we began to consider expanding our family again, we both felt a continued call to become foster parents. We were first foster parents to a young sibling group who were later placed with their family before we received the call to care for a newborn baby in the NICU. We could not wait to meet him.

            Zane was able to come home from the hospital at two weeks old! He was only five pounds and was absolute perfection. A week after Zane came home, I learned I was expecting another baby and about an hour after telling my husband, we received a phone call explaining that Zane had Down Syndrome.

            I wish I could go into elaborate detail about the weeks and months that followed, but they became a whirlwind. Zane required a visit with his birth mother, two or three doctors’ appointments and two therapy appointments each week, all over an hour drive from my home. It was beyond overwhelming.

            The words of The Family Proclamation would often run through my mind again: provide, teach, love, nurture. I was doing all those things to the best of my ability. I was up late into the night arranging Zane’s feeding tube. I was up early in the morning preparing him for yet another surgery. I was sleeping on hard hospital chairs and missing preschool drop-offs and picks ups while I watched doctors and nurses work tirelessly to preserve Zane’s life. I was doing all the things a mother is set apart by God to do, yet I did not hold that title.

            A mother who missed appointments, and who worried more about substances than feeding tubes was gifted this coveted name, mother. I respected her contribution in carrying and bringing forth his sweet life, but still, my heart would drop when I would hear her referred to as his mom.

            Many months into our journey, another routine court date approached. As I neared the courtroom doors, I saw Zane’s birth mother waiting. She reached out for him and I placed him in her arms as I had numerous times before.

            Court was running two hours behind schedule that day, perhaps so I could learn. I watched this mother closely. She held little Zane exactly how he preferred. I remember it had taken me awhile to learn his preference, but she cuddled him this way almost instantly. She talked to him the entire time he lay in her arms—telling him about her day, the books she was reading, the things she had done with his cousins. She laughed with him and loved on him. His eyes stared perfectly into hers, never straying from her gaze. It was as if he wanted to know and understand every word she spoke.

            When our case was called, she handed him back and together, we entered the courtroom.

            In that room, this sweet mother stood and said, with tears streaming down her face: “My son is with a family who loves him. They take great care of him. They provide for his needs and they love him. They give him everything I hope to but cannot. I would like to rescind my parental rights today if they would be willing to adopt him.”

            She described me in the very words our prophet had used to describe the role of a mother. My eyes brimmed over, and I could not contain my emotion.

            The judge ended court and this mother stood to leave. She walked past me, smiling through her tears , and whispered a quiet thank you as she rushed out of the room. I asked the caseworker when I would see her again, and she said that she did not request a final visit so that was it.

            I stood, baby Zane in my arms, and ran. That could not be it.

            I found her standing at the front doors of the courthouse awaiting a ride. I called her name and we embraced and sobbed; Zane was cuddled between two true mothers.

            I told her I love her baby, and that he is my world. I promised her I would do everything I could to protect him, and I told her I loved her and respected her.

            We turned, walking away in opposite directions. Two mothers—one whose arms were forever empty the other whose heart was forever changed.

            I learned that day, that this amazing woman had every quality a mother needed. She provided for her son’s physical and spiritual needs, she taught him love, she exemplified service, and she knew how to nurture—she just accomplished it in a different way than I had before recognized. She did what all mothers do, she forgot her own needs to meet the needs of her child. She nurtured our son in the best way she knew how. She trusted me to carry on the duty she could no longer uphold, a responsibility I take humbly, seriously, and with great reverence.

            She is the bravest mother I know.

            When the Lord defined the family through this sacred document, He taught us that the family is the center of all things. The family is love. He taught us that “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon [His teachings].” Maybe that is the role of each of us in families: to love as Christ loves, to live as He lives, to serve as He serves, and to meet the needs of another through quiet selflessness. Because of the selfless sacrifice of this brave mother, I have been able to experience the happiness that comes through building a family founded on Christ—I have learned over and over again what it means to be a true mother who nurtures.